Helping Friends

Cambodia talk

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3 things about helping a friend in need.

1. Honesty

Honesty is speaking truth and creating trust in minds of others.

If you are honest when helping a friend you will create a save space for them to be open up and trust that your advice will be true.

Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest I never feel stupid. And when I am honest I am automatically humble. Hugh Prather

Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth. Proverbs 16,13

A key word is confrontation!Don’t try to win them, by deceiving honesty. Honesty means: “I love you so much, I will confront you with the truth.” Even if you are not 100% sure. It’s not a crime to change your mind – as long as you are honest about it.

2. Advisers

An Adviser is someone who is giving advice.

You can’t solve all problems! Stay open to include advise from other people and friends.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15,22

Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it. Benjamin Franklin

3. Listening

A Listener is someone who listens, especially to a speech

Listen with more than just your ears. Your friend may tell you something he can’t say with words.

The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich

Nonverbal Communication

  • My body is facing you
  • I am looking at you
  • I can feel your pain
  • I hear more than you are saying

Asking questions is a very effective way of active listening. Know that words are only the tip of the Iceberg.

Everybody needs a friend that will help when times are dark. I am thankful for my friends that have carried me trough those tough times.

Sometimes we don’t know how to help. Than it is so good to know that God knows. It’s in moments like these, when we are praying with the right motivation.

May you be the best friend to your friends!

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You Got The Best Opportunity

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Life Is Art

We are always waiting for the perfect opportunity.
It almost never happens. 
You’re probably working on a job or project right now and saying, ‘This is boring, let’s just deal with it and get it over with. We’ll make the next one good.’
Whatever is on your desk right now, that’s the one.
Make it the best you possibly can. 
It may not be great, but at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you did the best you possibly could, and you may learn something from it.
And you’re always free to do an alternative that does satisfy your creative standards.
Good opportunities don’t just come along.
That’s true, even if you’ve earned a reputation for doing good work (although that helps).
Share this:
Successful solutions are often made by people rebelling against bad opportunities.

Exercise For Success

Sils Maria

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Think of the pursuit of your dream as being like a major athletic event.

Don’t “wait-for-it” – Train for it

As you prepare and “exercise,” you will get stronger—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

To successfully achieve your dream, you need to keep improving.
The best way to do that is to …

  • Keep your body fit.
  • Keep your heart flexible.
  • Keep your mind open.
  • Keep your comfort zone expanding.

If you train hard, you’ll not only be hard, you’ll be hard to beat.

My Ebook On iTunes Bookstore

This book is available for download on your iPad or on your computer with iTunes.

Download from iTunes for FREE click here.

Find A Mentor

Just sayin' what's on me mind.

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Beyond yourself

One of the most powerful ways to learn and grow involves other people.


People that are a step ahead of you on the journey toward the same goal.


I purposely said “Mentors”, with this I mean more than one. I have seen too often that people get focused so intense on one mentor they start copying instead of learning.


Copying is a great way to start your growths process. At some point you must develop your own uniqueness and find your place and style.


Choose your Mentors wisely.

  • You need dead Mentors: People that inspire you that have already finished the race. They will never disappoint you.
  • You need young Mentors: People that are younger than you but still have that spark and passion to change the world.
  • You need same age Mentors: People you share a similar task and that understand your situation.
  • You need older Mentors: People that have gone before you in a similar way and vision.

If you have this list,

post it on your office wall so you can see it every day.

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Love Is A Verb

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Like a mother loves her child. Love is unconditional. Love is given!

Boat Trip 1405The problem with negative thinking is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People become reinforced in the direction they are determined, and they produce evidence to support the belief. They feel increasingly victimized and out of control, not in charge of their life or destiny.

They blame others or circumstances for their own situation.

After a late poker night my neighbor said to me, “ND, my marriage is very difficult. It’s been like this for a long time. I think we have lived apart. I guess I don’t love her anymore and she does not love me. I think we should separate.”
“The love feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.
“Yes!” he reaffirmed.
“What did you promise when you got married?” I asked.
“Did you promise to love her in good and bad times?”
“Then love her,” I replied.
“But you don’t understand. The feeling is gone.”
“Than I guess this is a bad time. Love her! If the feeling isn’t there – that’s a good reason to love her even more.”
“But how do you love if you don’t
feel the love?”
My friend, love is a verb. Love—the feeling—is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that

Love is a verb even if some people make it a feeling.

Intense love does not measure, it just gives. Mother Teresa

We are not a product of our feelings. We are not driven by our feelings. If our feelings control our lives it’s because we given them control and empower them to do so.

Proactive people make love a verb.

Love is something you do, the sacrifices you make.
If you want to see love on full display, look at the people that have sacrificed for others, even for people that did not love in return.
As a parent I know that love is a value that is becoming alive through loving actions abuse of volume pills.
Proactive people subordinate feelings to values.

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action. Mother Teresa

Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.


  • What are you doing to recapture that love feeling?

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Open Communication

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Open Communication makes every team better.Untitled

It’s important that communication is not only about messages going out; it’s also about how messages are received.

Frequent communication is as important as clear goals.

If communication is open, hones, and clear to all helps to understand each other’s motivation and intents. It can establish where we are, where we want to go, and how to get there.


Silence may be golden, but it doesn’t contribute much to the team success. And, in fact, silence says a lot. We just don’t know how it’s being interpreted.

8 characteristics of an open communicator

  • They identify problems and have always at least one solution
  • The share ideas freely with their team members
  • They take time to listen to team members ideas and concerns
  • They are careful in what they will promise, because they will do whatever to live up to a commitment
  • The admit mistakes immediately
  • They respond promptly to team members request for information
  • The are the first to share credit with everyone involved
  • They let others know their sort- and long-terms goals

Review this list and talk with your team if there are areas you are falling short.

I’ve heart to many times: “We don’t communicate enough.”

The truths

It’s rare to meet team members who think they are getting too much communication.

It’s hard to get too much of this good thing!

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Start successfully

How To Use My Book

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With the Book – Maximize Your Team – I wanted to give you a tool you can use to develop your personal leadership and team culture.

Personal Leadership

Every leader is lead in his own style. After some years and success it can become your blockade if you stop trying out new things. The team will only grow if, you, as a the leader grows.

With this book I want to help you reflect yourself, give you new Ideas and help you approach some of the core challenges in a life of a leader. Reading this book will not make you a better leader. Taking yourself through the process of self reflection and the implementation of new habits will. You are the problem – and the solution to your own personal growths as the leader.

How do you develop your leadership skills?

Team Culture

Every team has it’s own unique culture. The team culture will get stuck in routine if there is no honest and open reflection.
With the help of this book you can discuss topics like communication, trust or feedback culture in your team meetings. I believe, if you talk about topics like this on a regular basis your team will stay healthy and develop a culture where innovation and change happen easier.

How do you develop your team culture?

You can download Maximize Your Team for free!

Continue reading How To Use My Book

My 39th Birthday Gift For You

I was dreaming of being able to help more people build better teams.

It’s one of the best things I love about the job I have now.
With this “ebook” (well, it’s more a collection of posts about teambuilding) I want to inspire leaders to maximize their team.

I want to give 1000 copies away for free.

I hope you like it. 

More information about the ebook.

Download your copy now

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You are authorized one copy of this ebook.
By downloading this free copy, you agree not to distribute any copies of this ebook to anyone including your team members but let them download their own FREE copy here

An Agenda To Live By

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Phnom Penh 446

1.   Character

Honestly – Loyalty – Respect – Unselfishness
Self Understanding and Evaluation
Stand for Something – Have the Courage of your Convictions

2.   Goals

Desire – Determination – Dedication Enthusiasm – Love your Life
Commitment to Excellence
Courage to Succeed

3.   Preparation

Hard Work – Sacrifice Discipline – Organization – Consistency Change your Weakness into your Power
Practice it the Right Way
Focus onto your strengths

4.   Attitude

Positive Mental Attitude
Have Fun

5.   Life

Don’t Apologize for Trying to Win
Don’t be Afraid to Fail
Leadership – Teamwork
Concentration – Poise
Extra Effort
Welcome Competition – Challenge yourself

6.   Pressure

Conditioning Thrive on Pressure
Mental Toughness
Never Quit

7.   Success

Are you Strong Enough to Handle Success?
Are you Strong Enough to Handle Critics?
Are you Strong Enough to Handle Adversity?
Accept Responsibility – Don’t Make Excuses
Perseverance – Persistence

8.   Future

Leave Something Behind
Get an Education of the Mind
Use Common Sense
The Challenge never ends

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